i felt like writing a journal since i'm very uninspired currently, and who knows (not me), maybe this can help. i'm not really uninspired so much as that i'm unable to do a lot of what i'd like to do. because i'm not good. i don't know. i don't even know what to write. i don't really want this to turn into a blog, or maybe i do. um. i don't know. life has seemed to suck really really bad lately. i think it's not that it's gotten worse, but that i've just never noticed how depressed i should probably be due to all this shit. recently it's all seemed to just stink a lot more. like i'm becoming hyper-aware of it all of the sudden. i don't know.